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light fuse,
run away.
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5:42 AM, Paint The Walls Red
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Today was a comedy. I cut my finger and blood sprayed everywhere. It was like some horror movie. There were blood splashes on my arm, sink, tap and floor. Very dramatic. I didn't know how to stop the bleeding so I decided to call me dad and ask what to do... "Hey, I cut myself while opening a can of dog food and my finger is bleeding on stop. What should I do?" "Elevate your hand and use a bandage." I realize my lack of first aid skills are sorely lacking. Next I had to tie a bandage on my bloodied finger. With one hand. So I tied it up really messily and badly and ended up with a finger TWICE THE NORMAL SIZE. Then I realise... How the fuck am I going to finish my newswriting with a finger the size of the Eiffel Tower. FUCK. MY. LIFE. (It's not that bad after you get used to it. It's amazing how adaptive you can be when one finger is unavailable.) |